Our kids never came around and participated in any family gatherings. My wife had stage four metastatic cancer, and she and I tried to involve our kids in the decision-making process. She wanted a DNR and I was not going to deny her what little control she felt she had. I knew that dreadful day would come and it came about six weeks after she signed the DNR. I had Phelan do some healing work for me and my family, he also suggested a communication and understanding ritual. As a family we are blessed to have Phelan in our lives, we love you Phelan and think the world of you. Extended family = hope!