Suicide Is Not The Answer

The pain of losing someone can be devastating and it doesn't matter whether you lose that person to death or to someone else, the emotions that follow are all the same, in fact in my opinion death is often easier to deal with because there is at least a certain finality, closure, although death is far from final as the spirit moves on and evolves.

Death is yet another doorway into life, a path that is lit with a brilliant white light, where the soul is able to lay the heavy burden of its earthly body down, shed its troubles and release its fear, the part of us that feels fear is the mortal part, the human part, the spirit knows no fear, in the etheric world energy is all the same, all consuming and encompassing, time doesn't exist as there are no clocks in the realm of spirit, time is intangible in the realm of spirit, however, in the realm of the physical time is marked by the changing of the seasons, the ever lucent glow of the Moon and the rising and setting of the Sun daily marks time here on Earth.

Death is a natural part of life, it is meant to be that way, murder and suicide are highly offensive to the Gods of karma and for one to take their own life is to question the wisdom of the Goddess, the Godhead and the Divine life force. When death occurs naturally, through no fault of our own, our soul is able to progress in life, when someone commits such a heinous crime against nature such as suicide they stump their spiritual growth and will no doubt have to relearn the very valuable lessons that they missed all over again, some sects of Witches believe that the soul is instantly reincarnated, I have yet to decide my position on that, but I can say that mostly I am inclined to agree.

Pain is for the living, souls do not feel earthly pain as that is an experience that is reserved for when we are in our physical bodies, now, heartbreak is ruled by our emotional selves and the emotions primarily manifest on the astral plane, so I am of the opinion that souls can recall the emotional pain that they have experienced while in their physical bodies, the trick that each and every individual has to learn is to release their pain without losing their minds or doing something that is totally non-conducive to the natural flow of their life, such as suicide.

Suicide as we all know is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and problems are meant to keep us on our toes and there is not an issue that is larger than life, there is not a MAN, WOMAN or SITUATION that is worth taking your life over and if that is the effect that someone has on you whether you are with them or not, you do not need them in your life to begin with, when a person takes their own life they not only damage their physical body, but they damage their soul as well, and in some cases may even become earthbound doomed to repeat the final hours that led up to their self inflicted abortion over and over again until someone releases their spirit and shows them the way into the light or as I like to think of it across the bridge into the Summerland, the price tag is simply not worth it, you are better off sucking it up, taking the licks that life has to offer and playing the hand that you were dealt, with the best of your ability.

I personally have attended two funerals where the individuals committed suicide, I will not honor suicide by calling them a victim, suicide is a selfish act, the victims are the ones who are left behind to clean up the mess and to scrape the brains off of the walls and mop up the blood, one of the funerals that I attended was the father of a friend of mine, I attended out of moral support and compassion for my friend, Mark's father put a loaded gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger on Christmas Day in 1997, the day after Mark who was twenty-one at the time came out of the closet and revealed his gayness to his parents and siblings, in the suicide note Mark's father stated that he just couldn't go on with his life and hold his head up knowing that his eldest son was a faggot!

Mark's father was a selfish old fool, not only did he take the easy way out, but he scarred his son for life, not only did Mark lose his dad, but his mother, sister and younger brother refuse to have anything to do with him, they blame him for the death of his father and to this day Mark refuses to allow himself to become involved with another man, he has vowed never to love anyone, what a shame! Mark is a wonderful good-hearted man who has much to teach and share, but the flame of his spirit has grown weak and dim and my fear is not that he will kill himself, but that he will just lose the will to go on and keep moving, sad indeed!

The funeral was probably the saddest sight that I have ever witnessed, in fact both of the funerals where death occurred by suicide were very sad, quiet pitiful, the families were more embarrassed than they were grief stricken, in a Witches' world death that happens naturally is revered, instead of mourning we celebrate the life and accomplishments of our loved one and we usher him or her into the arms of our waiting Mother, the Goddess, we know and understand that energy is never lost or destroyed, the individual life-force is as fluid as the rivers and streams, ever flowing and ever changing, just as water evaporates unto the clouds, when we leave our earthly bodies we too flow back to whence we came.

The other funeral that I attended was in 1994, this man was very well known, he was a producer of films and at one point a multimillionaire, he lost everything due to financial conflicts, he returned to his home that was confiscated and parked in the garage with the motor running, rolled up the windows and drank a fifth of Jack Daniels and suffocated, out of all the hundreds of people who knew him only ten turned out at his wake and from my understanding even less than that were present the day they laid his body to rest, he left behind a wife who now lives on booze and pain killers, two young children, one is now in jail for auto theft and the other one lives on antidepressants, the emotional and psychological pain is often too much and the saddest part of all is that he ended his life by choice, but in doing so he ruined the lives of those that he loved most or maybe he didn't love them as much as he thought he did, because love may not fix all of our problems but it is at least a start and we already know that in order to love someone else we must love ourselves first and self inflicted harm does not qualify as self love!

Death is indeed a natural part of life; the keyword is ´┐Żnatural´┐Ż when a loved one has led a long and full life or has endured a long-term illness we prepare ourselves somewhat for the inevitable, although no one is ever really prepared to lose a loved one and whether the loss was to death or to circumstances beyond our control we must allow ourselves to go through a grieving period, it is the only way that our heart can heal itself.

I decided to write about this subject because all too often I will have a client that claims to be suffering so bad emotionally over the demise of their relationship that they feel they just cannot go on, well, I have a strict policy if a potential client reveals that to me prior to me agreeing to work with them, I immediately bow out and provide them with an 800 number for the suicide hotline, I will not accept someone as a client who professes something of that nature to me, now, if someone who is a client indicates to me that they may be contemplating such an act as suicide I will almost always drop them as a client and refer them to the suicide hotline, because I am not a counselor and if someone is considering suicide they need a professional, someone trained in the mental health field who is well versed to deal with such matters, I am not trained to deal with people who are suicidal and will not make an attempt to do so, I know my boundaries, spiritually, morally, ethically and legally and with that said I have dropped several clients in the past and will most definitely do so again if this issue arises.

The most important thing that anyone who is contemplating suicide needs to know is that there is hope and there are answers and resolutions to your problems that don't include inflicting harm upon yourself.

Folks the bottom line is this, if you are feeling suicidal over a relationship that ended, you need to step back and take a look at the role that you played, that is the first step in fixing the problem, identifying and analyzing the contribution that you made in the breakup, separation or divorce and keep in mind that you can only take responsibility for the part that you played, therefore you can only fix the damage caused by you, but through love comes understanding and through love, compassion is born and if you truly love that person allow the compassion and understanding to flow through you unto them, the way that you do this, is through self love, not by causing harm to yourself and any way if you are suicidal because your relationship ended it is not love, my friend you are dealing with obsession and truthfully it may be obsession that got you where you are at, right now!

In order to manifest the desired change within your life action is required, but before you act stop and think, consider those around you who love you and whose lives will be altered by the selfish act of suicide, suicide is not the answer, I have been taught my entire life that if you are not part of the solution, then you are a part of the problem, the only thing that suicide accomplishes is guaranteeing you a one way ticket right back into the mess that you leave behind, sure it may not be the exact setting or even people, but you will re-live every single moment and lesson that led up to your self-inflicted-abortion all over again and in some religions especially those who believe in hell you may end up spending the rest of your life in an earthbound purgatory, either way doesn't sound very appetizing and is counterproductive to the natural flow of your life, learn your lessons now and take control of your life!

I, speaking from personal experience, know how hard it is to deal with the losses that we face in our physical bodies and in my younger days I, too contemplated ending my pain, but I came to realize that life is often filled with battles, and the scars that we show as a result only builds character and makes us stronger, and a strong person is more attractive on all levels as opposed to a weaker minded individual and I mean no disrespect, but suicidal thoughts are sure signs of weakness and if you are suffering, if life has dealt you too many harsh blows and you are feeling or contemplating succumbing to suicide take action and get help now, asking for help is the first step in the process of making yourself whole, otherwise you will never be ready to deal with a relationship again.

Love yourself, be true to yourself, live your life with God like principals, set goals, create a plan and follow through. Work on yourself Spiritually, Emotionally, Mentally and Physically and most of all make your well being a priority, in doing so you will enable someone else to make you a priority in their life as well! There is nothing more unattractive than a needy, clingy individual, work your magic and come from a place of strength and do not be afraid of asking for the help that you need. I have taken the liberty to include the website and phone numbers of a few crisis hotlines.

United States: 1-800-273-8255

Canada: 1-800-668-6868

As the holidays approach my staff and I would like to bid each and everyone of you a safe and glorious celebration, may the Yuletide find you surrounded by happiness and in the arms of the one that you love, may the coming New Year bring you an abundance of love and prosperity and in 2006 may your true life path be revealed unto you and may you learn your mysteries well!

Blessed be, Phelan