Goddess, oh Mother! The air feels thick with anguish and my breath escapes me!
I have suffered in silence and I have cried a thousand tears since my love walked away from me.
The more desperate that I become, the deeper I find myself, locked within solitude, a jail that I am imprisoned within, and you, my dear-heart, have become my jailer.
And, it is most unfortunate for me that you are the only one who holds the key to unlock the vault that will set me free, but freedom, is worthless my love, if it means a life sentence that I must serve without you!
For you are my salvation and I would wait an eternity for your return to me!
Yes, my love, my needs are great and my pain is too real! My wounds are deep, my heart has grown weary and weak! And my pride has been laid low.
I pity the soul whose reflection I see when I glance into the mirror, I am afraid to look, for what I see has become grotesquely aged as time passes by!
I stand before the Goddess calling out in need of help, frozen in my fear of growing old alone, my hunger growls and try as I may, I cannot fill the emptiness in my stomach or the void that has been created in my spirit by your departure.
The pain in my heart grows more severe with each passing day, each day I pray to the Goddess for mercy, but mercy she cannot or will not show me! And I cannot find it, in a World that I no longer live in!
I cannot believe that my existence has been reduced to suffering in solitude, why?
Why can't I let go and stop living in the past? And why can't I find once and for all, my way back into your loving arms?
My mind races as my soul screams out for relief, desperate, so very desperate I have become!
I would do anything, I would give anything to feel the kindness of your touch once again! And oh! The sweet smell of your breath, as your lips kiss mine, I cannot believe that we have slipped into the past and that you are no longer a part of my future!
This was not the plan that was laid before me, as you pledged your undying love to me!
Could I have been so foolish to believe the words that you spoke?
Could I have been so blinded that I couldn't see that your intentions were unusually cruel towards me?
Am I so weak, that I would give myself to another? Whose words hold no meaning?
Something went wrong, terribly wrong! And I was blindsided, I had no time to react, maybe it is true, what the Mother has said to me, maybe I was foolish by letting so many people have knowledge of mine and your affairs, after all, there is great power in knowledge!
I was warned many times, not to speak of my magic! I was warned, that there are those among us, whose only goal is to keep us apart!
You see, my love, our union is and was meant to be and I know deep within my heart that your love still burns for me! Although, it too is smoldering!
My greatest fear is that I will perish, waste away as our love continues to die. I cannot accept this! And I will not give up!
I must find the strength within myself to carry the torch of our union forth, into the midst I must go! For I, must seek help from the kindred spirits, those whose knowledge and power is greater than that of my own, for knowledge contains power, but there is also power and a greater strength in numbers!
Strikes of lightening flash in the sky and the thunderous booms serve to wake the creatures whose bodies, lay deep in slumber within the caverns of the Earth!
Change is coming as the cave-dwellers emerge from their lair! The Earth's energy is shifting and the howl of the wolves grow more intense as the Storm Moon draws near!
Great change comes this time of year and my love, in my heart, I know that it is true that with this passing Moon you will soon be here, for I have found a way to believe again in the magic I thought I had lost! It was never lost! It only laid dormant waiting for the right time to manifest.
My anxiousness and impatience only served to prolong my agony, but as the March Moon grows rounder and her light and bounty expands, I have foreseen the vision of you and I, and once again my dear, you are here and our happiness abounds!
Happiness, I am told is only a state of being, but I have been enlightened to my very core, the Goddess has granted me a glimpse into the future and for the first time in a long time, I now once again believe!
I believe that you and I are meant to be together! We are connected, and although we are apart for the moment, I derive great pleasure in knowing that the same Moon that shines down on me, also shines on you!
As the March Storm-Moon approaches, I will prepare my circle and ritual tools.
I will dance in the glory of the Mother's light and I will bask in the power of the Father's Sun.
For in life, there must be a duality in all things, and that is why each man and woman was gifted with both a masculine and feminine side. And as this special night grows near, I will continue to seek you out my dear, out of the darkness and into the light you shall come, come to me upon this Storm-Moon night!
Take my hand! As together we make up the whole, together we are a force! We are powerful, together we are duality and together we shall move forth in this life embraced for all eternity! For, our bond though at times may be shaken, will never be broken by those who oppose us! For separate, we are weak! And united, we are strong!
Standing in the Storm-Moon circle, I stare into the looking glass and for the first time in such a very longtime, I like what I see!
I no longer fear the looking glass, for my beauty has been returned unto me and although your physical body is not here at the moment.
I see your image standing beside me, I see your reflection, as you smile at me! And I feel the tenderness of your touch, as your hand grasps mine! And I realize that my anguish has dissipated and that I am able to breathe!
Patience, once elusive from my life, has returned to me and my will is once again ironclad!
As the power of the Storm-Moon sweeps over me, and the awakening spirit of the Earth rushes through my body, my magic comes full circle! And as I cast my love for you, out onto the winds of change, I no longer have a longing in my heart and my suffering has come to an end!
For you cannot miss, that in which you never truly lost! And you my love, have been locked deep within the chambers of my heart!
You were never gone! For your spirit and love grew inside of me, and it is on the wings of that love, in which your physical body will be returned unto me! And as I stand in the circle on this Storm-Moon night... I realize that the anguish of pain that I held for so very long in my heart has leapt from my body replacing regret with gratitude!
For upon this night, I will give thanks to the Lord and Lady for their influence in my life, and for your safe passage back to me! You are already here in spirit my love! Now, it is time for you to take the final step and fully rejoin our union!
This is my will! And, as it is my will, so shall it be done! So mote it be!
Blessed Be! Phelan