As 2004 comes to a close I feel that it is very important to forgive injustices of the past and allow them to heal, anger can lead to both mental and physical health issues and is generally unhealthy and if kept bottled up inside it can become an explosive situation. The poem below is an original ritual that I wrote many years ago when an ex-partner of mine walked away without saying goodbye or offering an explanation as to why.
Several months later he attempted to come back into my life but I had already moved on and I am the type of person that when I make up my mind about something it is made up and there is no swaying me!
Read the following with an open mind and absorb it, you can and will feel the empowering effects if you allow the energy to flow without restrictions, if you decide to put it to work for you, burn a light blue candle anointed in cinnamon oil on a Tuesday, read the passages aloud once prior to lighting the candle and again upon extinguishing the flame.
Take bay leaves and write the following words on them and light the leaves from the flame of the candle and allow them to burn before extinguishing the candle.
Time has stood still since you've been gone, my life has less meaning than it had when you were here, you validated my state of existence and well being, and you gave me purpose to carry on. My darling the thought of you in someone else's arms sends my tears flowing wild and furious, my heart beats so fast as if it is trying to break free, and try as I may I cannot catch my breath!
My world shattered the day you left me behind, and my desire to love walked away with you and now rest within your shadow, my heart is sick-filled with fear, and I can only hope that with time you will grow near. My pain will heal of this I am certain, oh how I long to see your face before they draw that final curtain! The pain lessens each day as the years flow by, and as I sit here tonight I have to wonder, why?
Why did you leave and where have you gone? Was I not good enough to sing your song? I pledged my love and gave you my life and in return you saddle me with strife! You took all you could while smiling at me, you took more than you should and then you set me free!
I gave to you true love of my own free will, and without hesitation you took your fill; And in the end I sit here sad, broke and alone, I hunger not for food to eat, but for the affection that I crave from you, spending time with you was all that I had, spending time with you I was always glad, my happiness was built out of lies, my happiness was a sham in disguise, you walked away leaving an empty shell behind, you walked away leaving me with these sorrow filled tears in my eyes!
You left me for reasons unclear to me, you left me for a new love that is exciting and free, it seems as though you have forgotten all that we shared, it seems as though you have forgotten how much you cared. When I look at you I cannot believe my eyes for you are not the same person who stood by my side, your motives are cruel and cleverly planned, you plotted against me and this I don't understand, you dealt the cards stacked in your favor and you dealt me a hand that I couldn't possibly win!
Games of cruelty seems to be your specialty, taking advantage of my weaknesses and using them against me, I hurt all of the time, the pain won't stop, I would ask for a moment of silence but it will not come as my mind screams in agony posing the many questions that I would ask you if given the opportunity, but these days I am lucky to catch a glimpse of you, and when I do I wonder if it is a sign of happier times to come or am I just a fool?
I look to the Goddess for wisdom and courage, but in my mind her image has become blurry, I ask aloud how can this be, why would you take my life- mate from me? The Goddess is all knowing and so powerful or so they say, why can't she answer me? Why does she turn me away?
"Hear the words of the Goddess"
My child of light and of love I gave you your life and I gave you your blood! I have never forsaken thee for I am within you spiritually, and he who stands against you so stands against me! I have heard your call and when the time is right you will have your answer, but for now go within and seek the courage to forgive. Forgiveness is the key to setting yourself free, go forth, move forward in life and leave the past behind to heal itself!
As I sit here I recall that bright blustery day that you walked away, turning my world a dingy gray, and for the first time in a very long time I do not feel self-pity, I do not feel unworthy of love and I do not feel unworthy of being loved, a new sadness washes over me as I realize that you didn't cheat me, you cheated yourself, you took something sacred and pure and tarnished it, the sadness that I feel is for you because you will never know what true love is, after all you held it in your hand and you discarded it like a limp dish rag.
You are not now nor will you ever be a master in life until the day that you can deal with those around you with love and compassion, integrity and respect, I do not pity you, but I forgive you, and I release you from the negative karma that you have created between us! I know one day we will deal with one another again and when we do there will be balance between us, I will be respected and treated as your equal unless you are still vibrating on a lower level and then I will be your superior, your teacher and you shall learn from me!
I command thee to move forward in life, learn and grow, until one day when you will return to me with love and honesty in your heart, I beckon forth the aid of the Universe and the powers that be, I will rise to the top and all things that are meant for me will be mine, this is my will and my will is ironclad and I shall resist those who are determined to undermine me in my life's work and goals! Set not, rise not against me or you will feel my wrath, deal with me through love and I shall return love to thee three fold!
So mote it be!